Tuesday, May 21, 2013

My Ridiculous and totally unfounded theory on what causes Autism.

Look, there are so many theories on what causes Autism out there that have absolutely no basis in fact or any  real research to support them that I have decided, that it's an open field. I mean seriously, anyone can just come up with the dumbest thing that they "believe" causes Autism. It's all ad hoc ergo propter hoc. Or for those of you who do not speak the dead language of Lawyers and Doctors, it means "after this, therefore because of this". Like, I feed my kids broccoli, the neighbor feeds her kids carrots, the neighbor has an Autistic kid,,,, therefore, carrots cause Autism.... it insane.

But hey, here is the thing. No one ever seems to say.."loving parents who care deeply for their kids cause Autism. Or intelligent parents who are involved with their children's lives cause Autism. Notice that? It's never a positive thing.
And that is because the people who make these stupid claims, think they are the "good" parents. So, nothing that is good....could possibly cause Autism.
I am more inclined to believe Montesano causes Autism than any thing parents do, I mean look at the growing numbers...seriously, it's like epidemic proportions. They all can't be the fault of parents.
And that brings me to my dumb theory.
I am careful to call it dumb, because frankly, I don't want any one to comment and say.."Sorry CP, but the science doesn't support your theory".. When did actual science ever get in the way of idiot theories?

The reason I decided to believe this theory is because it makes me think all this makes sense.
The huge numbers of Autistic kids, and no real answer as to what really causes it.
My theory answers all of that.
I came to this after watching this "60 Minutes" story on this kid.

Sure, I completely understand that Jake is an anomaly. He is not the usual. I get that, Autistic kids are not all secretly geniuses.
But many have that savant thing, there are plenty of stories about this.
And one thing in the story caught my ear. They explained that Jake, has a type of Autism that has just a tiny difference in his genetic makeup that sets aside the stuff that makes Autism difficult for most kids dormant, and allows the genius parts flourish.
Jake is convinced...and so am I... I mean who am I to argue with a genius?.. that his Autism is exactly why he can do math at such an extremely high level at his age.

So there is is, thousands of kids with Autism, many with a savant in specific areas...and no real explanation.
I have it.
Autism is caused by evolution.
Hear me out.
Look, we as a species went from knuckle dragging cave men, to inventing Algebra in ancient Egypt...it a relatively short time. From there, architecture, farming, navigation, science, technology... in a short time from blazing the trail in wagon trains to dune buggy riding on the moon.
We have been evolving. And here, we are at an impasse. We have reached the level of evolution that has become stagnant.
Seriously, how many ways can we really reinvent the iPad, or cell phone? We have that super collider. We are learning all the secrets of the universe, we have successfully mapped DNA...and for what?
Where do we go from here?

Think about the first cave kids who started to stand upright. Do you suppose they were considered freaks? I mean, do you think that the other cave moms, were thinking that those upright kids, who constantly stumbled, tripped over their own feet, hit their heads on low hanging branches and really couldn't relate to all those kids on all fours were a little odd?
Do you suppose those cave moms, wondered what caused upright walking?
Then, once in a while... a kid totally got it, stood right up at 2 and became the leader of the hunting party because he could see farther than the others. Maybe, he picked up a rock and killed a deer with it, or came up with a bow and arrow, a spit for cooking it over fire, developed strategies for surrounding the kill and cutting it off at the pass....suddenly, everyone was walking upright...and we moved on as a species.

It's time. It's time that we move on. This Autism thing, may very well, be the awkward growing pains of our evolution into a new era of kids who can understand quantum physics before they reach puberty.
Our evolution in to actually using most of our brains.
I mean, it's been said time and time again that we as humans only use a fraction of our brains as it is.
(ok, here is where I get a little spiritual....do not be alarmed...I will not pull a "Jesus freak" on you)
Maybe this is by design. When we are ready as a species, we were destined to reach the point, that we can finally be mature enough to be really, really smart.
Inventing the future, moving into a new human experience, where we get through the known in  a split second, so that we can explore the unknown.... moving in to a higher plane of existence.

Maybe...just maybe... Autism is our evolving brains attempting to access that higher thought process it knows it has, but fails, as nature so often does, time and time again, until it gets it right... and in higher and higher numbers... as time moves on. Evolution is a very slow process while you are living through it, spanning generations. But I think that in the future, people will consider it a short time taken it to the context of human evolution through the ages.
Hence forth, I will always look upon Autistic kids as the ones who have to deal, with the fact that they are the upright walkers, stumbling, tripping, and awkwardly moving the human race in to the next level.